hi! i'm als & this is my blog.

i write about random things.
these days i write pretty sporatically.
sometimes i completely rave about something, like a tv show but sometimes i write pretty serious things.
i write in short phrases, i like the freedom of not having to write in proper punctuation and grammar.
i'm a christian. i also ♥ music, art, photography, movies, tv & books.

hope you enjoy ♥

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Hospice - The Antlers

























I have had this album for quite a while now, and I had listened to it before many times. Though today, I actually really listened to it whilst reading the CD sleeve, reading and listening to the lyrics as they are sung. And honestly, no other album has ever cut me so deep in affecting my personal state.

This album is so unbelievably haunting.

This album follows a story of the relationship between a hospice worker and a terminally ill patient, Sylvia. The patient is depressed and is haunted in her sleep, which leads her to be verbally and mentally abusive towards the hospice worker, however still the hospice worker either falls in love with or has an extreme love for the patient. The patient eventually dies, but not without leaving lasting emotional scars on the hospice worker.

As Peter Silberman puts it (interview from thefader.com): "A hospice can be representative of what emotional and psychological abuse can do. Let’s say as a hospice worker, you’re taking a lot of verbal abuse from someone who is dying, cause they’re, absolutely and rightfully so, bitter about what’s happening and feeling like it’s completely unfair, which it most obviously is. And you’re in the position of feeling like you have no right to complain about your situation because it’s so much worse for them. So you think the least I can do is give them a punching bag."

and continuing from another interview here: "...You don't have to right to argue with them either, because they're the one that's dying here; they're the one that's been dealt the wrong hand. So you take it, but you can only take so much. Eventually, you realise that this person is destroying you."

When I truly listened to it for the first time, I could feel myself being haunted by the story telling. I could truly imagine the situation, the setting and felt the mood of the whole piece sink into my own body. And when I say haunted, I do mean I for some reason was feeling scared not sure why, but the piece along with its story also reminded me of scary films set in creepy hospital with mentally ill patients. But I'm pretty sure that's just me.

But the emotion that comes through as this story of the hospice worker and patient is reflective of an emotionally abusive relationship.

"Basically, what I would say the album is about, I would say this for the sake of anyone who would listen to it, it’s about an experience I had in a very emotionally abusive relationship and the pulling myself out of that, and the effect that it had on my life at the time."

However, I have read many reviews that describe the light that seeps especially at the end through this dark piece. But at this point, I am still coming to terms with the depressing story and the sheer emotion of the whole piece.

This isn't my usual type of blog, it isn't as light hearted as it would normally be. But I am writing this under my current state, still feeling extremely overcome. As I said in the beginning, no other album has ever so severely affected my mental state.

And after saying all of that, it is an amazing album. Do go listen to it, if you haven't already. It may not affect you as it had affected me, but I guarantee you that if you truly sit and listen to it you will feel the emotion of it all. It's quite brilliant and chilling at the same time.

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